The Greatest Power in the Verse
by daisydol
Summary: Takes place after the movie with references to "Heart of Gold" from the series. Rated M for chapter two. Mal and Inara have a lot to talk about now that she's back on the ship. Will they finally get around to being honest about their feelings. Please, R
1. Chapter 1

So, I totally lived for the Mal and Inara storyline and it never truly got resolved in the show or the movie to my complete sat

**So, I totally lived for the Mal and Inara storyline and it never truly got resolved in the show or the movie to my complete satisfaction. Translation: I need smoochies! So here you go, takes place after they takeoff at the end of 'Serenity.' please review.**

**Note: I own nothing in relation to Firefly or the movie Serenity. **

Long after River had finally gone to her bunk, leaving the co-pilot chair empty, Mal still sat in Wash's chair, staring at the stars. Some people got a lonely, cold feeling staring out into the black, but not Mal. Mal took hope from looking out into all that space, feeling all that freedom. Especially during times like now, when he felt so mixed up inside, he could look out at the stars and worlds and feel a bit of peace.

Wash's dinosaurs still sat on the control panel. His heart hurt for Zoe with such force that his chest felt tight and his throat felt constricted. She'd looked like an Amazonian queen in a story from Earth that Was at the funeral. She was the strongest person he knew and he had no doubt that she would heal up eventually from losing Wash, but there was always going to be a part of her that went into the ground with her husband that day. After what they'd all just been through, Mal knew that none of them would ever be the same again.

The silence around him was like a soothing balm and he found his thoughts wandering from the pain of their last ordeal to how Inara had looked when he'd asked her if she was going to be returning to her fancy, Alliance planet. Her reply rang in his mind.

_I don't know._

He'd told her that was a good answer and he'd meant it. She was a methodical woman, every move thought out and driven by purpose. After all they'd endured, for her to have doubt about where to go from here told him that her heart was finally trying to say its piece to her head.

Leaning back in the pilot's chair, he put his hands behind his head and thought on her face. He'd traveled the 'verse over and he'd never seen a woman that could hold a candle to Inara. Her eyes were huge and expressive, rimmed by thick dark lashes that made them look extremely feminine and mysterious all at once. Her features were small and sharp, the kind of features one would see in the most fragile of things. Then there were those lips.

Mal closed his eyes and drew her face in his mind as he'd done more than once on nights when it was quiet on his boat and he had nothing but time and himself for company. A war raged in his heart over how to feel with her on Serenity again. She was here, part of him once more. But she'd left before and just as he'd been getting up the nerve to call a spade a spade and tell her how he felt about her. If she left again now it would hurt. But if she stayed long enough for him to get comfortable and then pulled the rug out from under him again, well he didn't think that was something he could endure a second time.

"It's so beautiful."

Her voice startled him and he jumped, losing his balance slightly and almost falling out of the chair.

"Wei lian de zao wu zhu woman, what are you sneaking around like that for?"

Standing in the threshold of the bridge Inara could barely hide her amusement. It wasn't the first time she'd come in behind him and caught him unaware. Just because she didn't stomp about places, announcing her arrival long before she'd entered a room, didn't mean she meant to surprise people. It still made her laugh nonetheless when the person she surprised was Malcolm Reynolds.

She stepped forward into the bridge until she stood between the pilot and co-pilot chairs, taking in the vast expanse of space in front of her. "Nothing can compare to that view."

She said it almost to herself and Mal was struck once again with, down deep, how similar they truly were. He was the pirate captain, the war veteran who'd fought on the losing side of a battle and now lived on the fringe of a civilization that he could never accept. She was the beautiful companion who lived amongst those that had nearly ruined him, supported their efforts and agreed with unification and homogenization of everything they touched. Yet, here they were, appreciating their surroundings for the same reasons.

She took a seat in the co-pilot's chair and faced him. "It must be hard for you, going forward without Wash."

Mal dropped his hands from behind his head and sat forward, resting his forearms on his knees. "He was a good man, good pilot. He was part of my crew, which made him family. It's not me that I worry on when it comes to losing Wash though."

Inara dropped her eyes for a moment and clasped her hands in her lap, knowing what Mal meant without him having to say it. "How is she doing?"

Mal turned his chair a bit to face her more fully and shrugged slightly. "She'll hold up. She's Zoe. She'll never admit to how much hurt is under there. I stood by her as our entire platoon was wiped out at Serenity Valley. She never batted an eye, just did her duty."

Inara's eyes darted up to search his face as she listened to his words. She'd known Mal for more than two years and knew his history from the bits and scraps that she'd been told or looked into herself once she'd left the ship. He'd named his ship Serenity after the battle of Serenity Valley, but aside from hearing it used in that context, she'd never heard him speak of the battle before.

Something soft inside of her twisted as she realized that he must trust her completely to open himself to her in that way, be it as small on the surface as merely using the name of a place that still haunted his very soul.

Mal sighed and went on. "When that spear went through him…well I've never seen her like that."

He got up from the pilot's chair, suddenly unable to occupy the space where Wash had been killed. He stood between the consoles where Inara had stood moments before, his back to her, and looked out into the nothingness.

"It must have been a horrible thing to witness Mal. I'm sorry that you had to experience it." Fresh tears began to burn the back of Inara's eyes. Everyone had loved Wash and it would be a long time before it seemed tolerable that he wasn't with them anymore, in body anyway.

He paused for a long time and when he spoke again his voice was soft and quiet. "I've thought on this long and hard over these last few weeks. Seems a true fighter, a real soldier, can face anything without flinching, even death." He turned to look at her and the expression on his face made her heart rate start to pick up in her chest. He looked tired and sad, but resolved as well. His jaw was set and she could tell that he was going to say something that she may or may not want to hear.

He went on. "But even a soldier has a vulnerable spot, and that's love."

His eyes fixed hers and the tenderness that she suddenly saw there shook her to the bone. After all this time, he could still make her feel like running into his arms and that feeling scared her to death. It had been why she left in the first place, a companion can not afford romantic love. Her hand fluttered to her throat for she was sure he could see her heart pounding there as surely as she could feel it. She had to escape, she couldn't let him make her feel this.

He took a step toward her, saw her dart her eyes to the door. It was all the answer he needed to his questions about whether it would be better for her to stay or go quickly. He set his jaw, refusing to let the dull pain in his chest stop him from finishing what he'd started.

"Nara, I've figured some things out of late. We're very similar you and me. We're both people who stick very close to our own code and we don't like things coming in the way of our peace. I have something to tell you and I know that makes you want to run away, that the last time I felt truthsome with you I dropped you on some Alliance moon and you were gone." He looked down at his boots for a moment, the memory of her telling him she wanted to leave still fresh in his heart. He dwelled on it for only a moment, then forced himself to raise his eyes back to her frightened ones and continue.

"Thing is Inara, there never will be anyone for me but you. I may find my creature comforts here and there as time marches on but in my life I've been in love with exactly one woman and that woman is you."

Her eyes widened at his words and he held out a hand, brushing it against her soft, porcelain cheek. His heart felt like it was being ripped into a thousand pieces, but he knew he had to get it all out. His voice was low and husky, almost a whisper, as he went on. "That's why I understand that you have to go. You're a woman who can't be beholden, can't be held down." He dropped his hand. "And you don't love me. So stay or go, your conscience can be clear. I just needed you to know where I stood."

With that he turned and left the room. Inara sat frozen in her chair, her hands folded neatly in her lap until she heard his boots clanging against the ladder to his bunk just down the corridor and then the heavy metal scrapping of him closing the hatch. That's when the anger hit her.


	2. Chapter 2

Mal laid back on his bunk, not even bothering to change out of his captain's uniform and boots. The lights were still on low so his room was soft and shadowy, much like his thoughts. She'd looked like a trapped rabbit when he'd told her. His heart hurt and he had to fight the urge to rub his chest with his hand where it ached the most.

Part of him couldn't help but also feel a bit relieved. The burden of carrying around his feelings for her and having to deny them had been harder than anything he'd ever done. He was a black and white man. He did as he thought was right and he didn't pull any punches. But he'd had to keep that part of himself that wanted and needed the woman who walked the halls of his ship in silken gowns with a cup of tea in her hands hidden away. Watching Zoe lose Wash he'd realized that he'd rather never have to wonder what could have been. Wash knew Zoe had loved him with his last breath. Now, when Inara inevitably left again, he could know that his truth had been spoken.

A loud banging on the hatch door interrupted his thoughts and he got up from his bed to open it up. Inara looked down at him from the top of the ladder. "May I enter?"

Her tone was haughty and he realized that she was climbing down before he'd given her permission. He supposed it served him right for all the times he waltzed into her shuttle without her permission, but Inara was a stickler for propriety.

She got to the bottom rung of the ladder and stepped into the center of the room, not bothering to look at him as she walked by him to take her place. He recognized the look on her face as he would recognize his own hand. He should, he'd caused that expression more than once. She was royally pissed.

He turned to face her and she leveled him with her eyes, flames of fury licking their deep brown depths. "How dare you Malcolm Reynolds."

He held his hands out in supplication. "How dare I what? Tell the truth?"

"Since when have you been such a stickler for the truth? You live the life of a petty thief and yet tonight you feel as though you need to lay out every thought you've ever had?"

His own anger began to kick up and he took a step toward her. "I may be a thief, but I'm an honest man. One thing doesn't have a lick to do with t'other."

"Well, then I guess I should thank you. Thank you Mal for playing the part of the martyr. The truth really is that you know that I'm unobtainable, so you focus all of your attention on that which you cannot have and in that, you never really have to have an honest relationship with a woman. You don't love me Mal, I'm the excuse you have for living a solitary life."

He closed the distance between them at her words and grabbed her upper arms. "I've been called a lot of things and I've had my character called into question on plenty of occasions, and most of the time its been justified. But what I said to you tonight is the truth and you know it. If someone here tonight is a dishonest person Inara it's you. You act angry, but you're really so afraid that it's killing you. When its all said and done, you're just a coward."

Her eyes flashed and she broke out of his grip bumping past him back toward the ladder. He did nothing to stop her, but when she reached out to take the rungs in her hands and escape his room she stopped herself.

She was a coward and he'd seen right through her.

Here, he'd laid everything out on the table before her, asking nothing in return but for her to know the truth as he saw it. If she could do anything, she could tell him something that she'd been carrying around too.

Still holding onto the ladder, prepared to flee at any moment, she spoke. "I cried my eyes out that day. With Nandie."

Mal crossed his arms over his chest and looked down at the tips of his boots. "I already know I failed to protect her. You don't need to hit that one any further home."

She turned and faced him with such sudden determination that he looked back up at her and was surprised to see tears brimming her eyes. "That's not what I mean. I mean after I discovered you leaving her room half dressed the morning of the fight with Burgess, I cried my eyes out that you'd been with her and not me."

Mal stared as one tear broke free and skittered down her perfectly smooth cheek. He scarcely dared to breathe as he was suddenly sure that any movement on his part would make her disappear into dust as a figment of his imagination. Had she really just told him that she cared something for him?

She took an angry swipe at her tear, but never broke eye contact. "I imagined you in her arms when you could have been in mine. Should have been in mine. I sobbed over you. I'm a companion Mal! I can't feel jealousy, I can't feel want for just one man! But I found myself wanting and I found myself hurting and I couldn't do it. Don't you see you stupid bai chi? I'm so in love with you that it's ruining me!"

He didn't know how he did it but somehow he was across the room, crushing her in his arms. She held onto him for dear life, soaking in the scent and feel of him as if she'd never felt a man before this.

She felt so good in his arms, like she was made especially to fit there. Her hair smelled like lavender as he pressed kisses to the top of her head, and her cheek felt like a down pillow against his hands as he took her face in them. The look of love in his eyes broke down the last of her will to fight it and the tears flowed silently as she returned his gaze.

"I don't know how to make all of this all right for you Nara, I don't know how to uncomplicate it. All I know is that I mean to make love to you right here and now. We've denied ourselves long enough."

With that he kissed her so deeply that her knees buckled and he scooped her up into his arms like a knight in some princess story. She was a professional, trained in the arts of the erotic and one of the best in her field. A kiss was something that she could do a million different ways with thousands of nuances and never bat an eye about it, but this was different. She'd never been kissed with the force of love behind it, not reciprocal love. Her better sense would probably have told her to get away, to get some distance from him but her senses were no longer able to speak to her rational mind. All she could do was feel.

He carried her over to his bed and lay her down, her inky curls spreading over the pillow. He pinned her there with his gaze as he pulled his suspenders down off of his shoulders and began unbuttoning his shirt. He was a coordinated man, an athlete by any definition, but his fingers felt clumsy as he hurried to remove his clothing before her better sense caught up with her and she bolted. If she left now he didn't think he could take it.

Seeing his urgency Inara surrendered any last shred of doubt she had. She was tired of fighting herself, tired of fighting her need for him. She sat up on the bed and started helping him with his buttons. He seemed to relax a moment, taking it as a good sign that she wanted to help him get naked. He reached around her back and cursed softly when he found more buttons to deal with on her dress, making her laugh.

He started to work on them and had a few of them done by the time she'd gotten his shirt untucked from his pants and unbuttoned all the way. She pushed it open and he stopped with her dress long enough to let her push the shirt down over his arms so he could shrug out of it. She pulled his undershirt over his head and began pressing kisses to his collarbone while he went back to work on the buttons of her dress.

A soft oath escaped his lips as she trailed kisses lower, finding his nipple. She let her hands roam over his well muscled chest, reveling in the feel of his strength beneath her soft hands. He reached the bottom of the buttons and she slipped the dress down to her waist to reveal her naked breasts. Mal pulled away to appreciate the site, his eyes half lidded with desire.

"My god you're beautiful." He whispered, his voice a sensual rasp that stoked her fire just that much more. He reached out and took her breasts in his hands, loving the feel of them against his rough skin. They were full and heavy with rosy nipples that beaded into hard points when he stroked them with the palms of his hands.

Most men merely pawed her, trying to get their money's worth in the time they'd purchased. Mal took his time and the difference in sensation was staggering. She could never remember having anyone's touch feel this good and she was drunk with the pleasure of it. A soft moan escaped her lips and her eyes fluttered closed as he lowered his mouth to take one of her nipples in, drawing languid circles around it with his tongue. She fisted her hands in his thick hair, biting her lip to keep from crying out and alerting the entire crew to what they were doing. It felt so good.

Raising his head back to her lips he took her mouth with greed, his tongue plunging deep inside and rubbing against her own as he ran his hands up and down her bare back. He pressed her against his chest and groaned low in his throat at the feel of her skin to skin with him. She was soft where he was rough, round where he was angular. Her nipples grazed him and goose flesh broke out across his skin at the sensation.

He needed to be inside her. Breaking away from their embrace, he stood so he could pull down his breeches, remembering too late that his boots were still on. With another curse he sat again and began tugging them off as fast as he could, eliciting another laugh from her. This time though, her voice was husky and full of lust, making his already painful erection throb with want.

Once his boots were off, he rose again and discarded his breeches with one fluid movement, standing completely naked before her once it was done. She struggled to take in the entire, gorgeous site of him. His body was amazing. His well-formed muscles lay defined and strong under his skin, marred here and there by scars he'd received in one of the many battles he'd fought in his life. He was a soldier and he was all hers.

Pushing herself to the edge of the bed, she wasted no time in grabbing him by the hips and taking him into her mouth. Satisfaction spread through her blood like an electrical current at the sound of his sharp intake of air. It was his turn to fist his hands in her hair and he let his head fall back as he struggled to breathe. He'd wanted this for so long and it had been a while for him. He had to concentrate on not letting things finish before they even started and it wasn't long before he had to grab her gently by her arms and haul her to her feet so he could get the rest of her dress off of her.

It swished over the curve of her hips and landed in a pool at her feet with a faint swish, leaving her as naked as he. He took the opportunity to look at her, let his hands memorize the curves and the valleys of her while he slowed his body down a bit from the attention it had just received.

"You're like an angel." He whispered, staring into her eyes and then pulling her down onto the bed so she lay beneath him. He stopped just at her threshold and began placing kisses all over her face, the tip of her nose, her chin, her temples. She ran her hands softly up and down his sides, making fresh goose flesh pop up.

"Mal." She whispered and he lifted his head to look down at her, his expression one of lust and adoration, but also of patience and restraint.

She realized that he was waiting for her, that if she told him to stop right now that he would and suddenly she wanted to sob. At this point in the game she was usually bought and paid for, what she wanted no longer had any bearing on the proceedings. But right now, in this moment, what she felt mattered to him and she knew that in just that truth she had crossed a bridge that she could never cross back over.

Taking his face in her hands she brought it down to hers and brushed a tender kiss over his lips. "I love you Mal." She whispered against his lips and she felt her big strong soldier tremble.

"I love you Inara." He answered back and then entered her with a slowness that made her feel every inch of him. He rocked within her to a rhythm that was slow and languorous. He didn't want to rush a moment with her. He wanted to feel her until his body simply couldn't hold out any longer.

She'd never been taken like this before. It felt so amazing, with each slow thrust she could feel his love for her and her heart swelled in her chest.

She wrapped her legs around him and cradled the back of his head with one hand while the other hand roamed over his back, loving the feel of his sweat slicked skin.

"Mine, you're mine." He murmured against her shoulder and she could feel that he was coming upon his release while her own was rapidly coming to its crescendo. She dug her nails softly into his back and pressed her head into the pillows as the first waves hit her, his name coming out as a moan on her lips.

He could feel her convulse around him and he finally could take no more of the sweet torturous pleasure. He spilled himself within her, his voice caught in his throat as he lost all sense of space and time. He collapsed on top of her and only slowly started to become aware of their breathing, ragged and gasping.

"You're mine." He murmured again and lifted his head enough to gaze down at her half lidded and sated eyes. Her expression was serious and he could see that their lovemaking had shaken her as much as it had shaken him.

He placed a feather light kiss to the tip of her nose and smiled down at her, a smile which she returned. Soon they were laughing softly, kissing each other's faces and laughing with a joy and happiness that neither of them had felt in years. They had a lot to work out, but he knew that the hard part was over. Now, all they had to do was get used to loving each other everyday.


End file.
